3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
