the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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