I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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