I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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