3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize