break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
