I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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