so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
