My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
