you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
