I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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