remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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