whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
