Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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