So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
