He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
