oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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