well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
