i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Randomize
