i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
