you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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