That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Randomize
