He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
