Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
