I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
