New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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