Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
