your room smells of hookers.
And success
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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