wakey wakey hands off snakey
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
