if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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