I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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