after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
