Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
