every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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