Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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