Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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