we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize