No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
