Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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