I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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