There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
