I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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