i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You've changed since you got that strap on
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
