I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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