why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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