): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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