She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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