i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
