what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
