it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
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