Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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