I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
