Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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