Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
