glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
