trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
