So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize