This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
All I want is dick and wine.
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