i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize