i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
