Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
