I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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