I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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