i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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