Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
