I cannot find my penis.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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