i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
