He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
