Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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